Kwee Wee

The Unlikely Legend of Kwee Wee

In the wild and wacky world of professional wrestling, few careers are more fascinating than that of Kwee Wee. With a résumé that reads like a greatest hits collection of ring names (Alan Funk, Funkster, Bruce, Triple A, Chi Chi, Queen Herod, Vytor – you get the idea), this 220-pound Ohio native has been entertaining crowds since 1997.

So what makes Kwee Wee such an outlier in the world of sports entertainment? For starters, his wrestling style is a delicious blend of all-rounder and technician. He's got the athleticism to keep up with the flashiest high-flyers, but also the technical savvy to outmaneuver even the most cunning opponents.

And then there are the signature moves – oh boy, do we have some doozies. The Fruit Loop? Glitter Buster? Moolah Whip? You half-expect Kwee Wee to break into a chorus of "YMCA" at any moment. It's like he raided the clearance bin at the local costume shop and said, "You know what? This is gonna be my thing."

Of course, it's not all fun and games being Kwee Wee. He's had his share of ups and downs – stints in Impact Wrestling, World Championship Wrestling, All Japan Pro Wrestling, National Wrestling Alliance, and World Wrestling All-Stars, to name a few. And let's be real, some of those ring names might not have aged as well as others (Queen Herod? Really?).

But here's the thing: Kwee Wee has earned his place in wrestling history through sheer, unadulterated dedication. He's been at this game since 1997 – that's over 14 years of grueling travel schedules, endless promoter meetings, and, of course, countless hours spent perfecting those signature moves.

And hey, it's worked. Kwee Wee has accumulated an impressive list of championships, including the BPW Tag Team Championship (which, let's be real, is a pretty sweet trophy to have on your mantle).

So the next time you find yourself flipping through the channels and stumbling upon some obscure wrestling promotion featuring a guy named Funkster, don't change the channel – stick around. You might just catch Kwee Wee in action, busting out his patented Piledriver or Powerbomb, all while wearing that glorious sparkly singlet. That's entertainment, folks.